How I Learned to Stop Procrastinating, & Love Letting Go | 我如何学会停止拖延并接受放弃

‘People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.’ ~Thich Nhat Hanh

By Leo Babauta

The end of procrastination is the art of letting go.

I’ve been a lifelong procrastinator, at least until recent years. I would put things off until deadline, because I knew I could come through. I came through on tests after cramming last minute, I turned articles in at the deadline after waiting until the last hour, I got things done.

Until I didn’t. It turns out procrastinating caused me to miss deadlines, over and over. It stressed me out. My work was less-than-desirable when I did it last minute. Slowly, I started to realize that procrastination wasn’t doing me any favors. In fact, it was causing me a lot of grief.

But I couldn’t quit. I tried a lot of things. I tried time boxing and goal setting and accountability and the Pomodoro Technique and Getting Things Done. All are great methods, but they only last so long. Nothing really worked over the long term.

That’s because I wasn’t getting to the root problem.

I hadn’t figured out the skill that would save me from the procrastination.

Until I learned about letting go.

Letting go first came to me when I was quitting smoking. I had to let go of the “need” to smoke, the use of my crutch of cigarettes to deal with stress and problems.

Then I learned I needed to let go of other false needs that were causing me problems: sugar, junk food, meat, shopping, beer, possessions. I’m not saying I can never do these things again once I let go of these needs, but I let go of the idea that they’re really necessary. I let go of an unhealthy attachment to them.

Then I learned that distractions and the false need to check my email and news and other things online … were causing me problems. They were causing my procrastination.

So I learned to let go of those too.

Here’s the process I used to let go of the distractions and false needs that cause procrastination:

I paid attention to the pain they cause me, later, instead of only the temporary comfort/pleasure they gave me right away.
I thought about the person I want to be, the life I want to live. I set my intentions to do the good work I think I should do.
I watched my urges to check things, to go to the comfort of distractions. I saw that I wanted to escape discomfort of something hard, and go to the comfort of something familiar and easy.
I realized I didn’t need that comfort. I could be in discomfort and nothing bad would happen. In fact, the best things happen when I’m in discomfort.
And then I smile, and breathe, and let go.

And one step at a time, become the person I want to be.

‘You can only lose what you cling to.’ ~Buddha

“人们总是对他们遭受的苦难难以释怀。与其面对未知的恐惧,他们宁愿承忍受那些熟悉的痛苦。” — THich Nhat Hanh

停止拖延的终极方法就是要懂得放弃的真谛。

有生之年,我一直是个严重拖延症者,直到近年来才有所改观。我总是将事情拖到截止日期才去完成,因为我坚信我能够安然度过。我在考试前突击准备,等到截稿时间的最后期限再提交文章,我总是能把事情搞定。

就这样,我拖延着,直到我不再能及时完成任务。拖延使我一次又一次的错过最后期限。这使我承受了极大的压力。我在最后时刻完成的工作也总是无法让人满意。慢慢地,我意识到拖延对我没有什么帮助,反倒实际上造成许多苦恼。

但是我无法停止拖延。我尝试了许许多多的方法。我尝试过时间盒子、目标设定、责任制、番茄工作法、以及GTD(Getting Things Done)。这些都是很棒的方法,但是只能维持一段时间。长期效果都不明显。

归根结底,是因为我并没有解决根本的问题。

因此,我并没有找到将我从拖延中解救出来的方法。

直到我学会了放弃。

在我尝试戒烟的时候第一次意识到了学会放弃的意义。我得学会放弃对“吸烟”的需求,那种借吸烟来释放压力和困惑的依赖感。

之后,我意识到我应该放弃那些对我造成困扰的虚假需求感:糖,垃圾食物,肉,逛街,啤酒,占有欲。我并不是说在我放弃对这些东西的需求后,就不可以再做类似的事情了,我实际上是不再认为这些事情真正的重要了。我放弃了对这些不健康事物的依赖感。

然后,我察觉到那些分散注意力的事物和假意的查收邮件、新闻以及其它网上消息的需求给我制造了许多麻烦。这些才是造成我拖延的原因。

就这样,我也学会了放弃对这些东西的需求和依赖。

以下是我习惯放弃引起拖延的虚假需求的过程:

1. 我将注意力集中在由拖延引起的痛苦上,而不再仅仅是拖延带来的短暂的舒适和愉悦。

2. 我认真考虑我想成为什么样的人,度过怎样的生活。我将自己的注意力集中在我认为我有意义的事情上。

3. 我观察自己想要查看消息和被干扰吸引的精神状态,发觉自己无非是想要逃避那些困难的事情,从而转向那些自己熟悉和简单的食物上去。

4. 我意识到自己其实并不需要那种从事简单事情的舒适感。面对困难我可能有些不适,但是并不会由此引发什么坏的事情。事实上,那些最好的事情都发生在我觉得有点儿难受的时候。

5. 最后,我微笑,深呼吸,放弃那些拖延的念头。

一次向前一小步,我就会成为我所期望的人。

“失去的只会是那些你所依赖的东西。” — Buddha

Source: http://zenhabits.net/leggo/
原文:http://zenhabits.net/leggo/